Dealing With Stress

Weight: 285.2                       Total: -37.8

I am hoping the sickness has past, and am glad that I didn't gain from what 

I ate last night. At around 3 pm I was famished, so I decided to have my 

RM early, and that was a mistake. Too much, too fast. With in 30 minutes 

or so it was all in the commode. 

A few hours later, I tried again, slower this time and it stayed. 

I have a lot on my mind this morning. Mostly financial. I am a bit stressed about 

it. I start a new job that I am very excited about, but I won't see any fruits from 

that until Dec 26th! I'm not too worried about Christmas. It's just main things like 

rent and phone.

Basically, I was betting on the girl I was babysitting for, and spent money on winter 

clothes for the kids. Then she quit her job, and left owing me money. I know it will 

be okay. It is just stressful not knowing where it'll come from, especially since I 

haven't had any side jobs for about a month.

My husband works hard, and pays most of the bills. He just doesn't make enough 

to foot the bill by himself, and having seven kids is a big bill!

So, today is a new day, and I feel mostly alive. Hopefully, I can make it through 

without a violent trip to the loo!

Hope all of your needs are met today! Have an awesome day!

HUGGZZ

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SICK

Weight: 285.1                                Total: -37.9

I have had a stomach virus for the past day and a half and the scale is showing it.
Hopefully I will feel better by Monday to get the kids to meet Santa.

Will check in tomorrow, not much to say except...BLAHHH!

HUGGZZ

HO! HO! HO!

Weight: 290.3

Hi all! Today Jude will meet Santa for the first time! I am a little excited. I
really never did the magical Santa with any of the other kids. I am not even
sure why I am doing it now.

When I was young I believed in the man with all my heart. I would even
sneak letters to the mailbox to him throughout the year telling him about
things in school, about friends and family...like a one-way pen pal.

By the time my friend told me that Santa was "dead," I already had trust
issues with my parents. I decided shortly after that, that I would not lie to
my kids. Not even about Santa.

My children always knew the real story of St. Nick, and that mom and dad bought
the presents in tradition, to keep the spirit of St. Nicholas alive. Also, of course,
to celebrate with the world the birth of J'sus...even though his birthday is during
Sukkot in the fall.

That worked until a couple of years ago. One day Bella came home from
preschool extremely excited. With wonder abounding, she retold a story
that a fellow classmate had shared with her.

On Christmas eve, a fat happy man was going to come to everyone's house and
deliver presents under the tree. She went on and on about flying reindeer and his
beard, and the "HO HO HO" thing. At that very moment, I had to decide whether
to dash her spirit now or play it out and see how it goes.

I looked at my oldest daughter China as she watched me intently to see what I'd
do. My heart tangled, I said "yes, of course, how else would all those presents
get here?" China's jaw dropped, and I knew as soon as the girl had a two seconds
with me I'd get the third degree interrogation that I deserved.

So, there's the story.  I love Christmas, and I hate lying to my kids. I feel like if you
lie about something little, you'll lie about something big. But here I am lying, and
excited about it! I feel my morals diminish by second.

Hope you all have a wonderful day! Remember the reason for the season, and have
patience with one another.

HUGGZZ
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Complimentary Meal
ham
cauliflower

Complimentary Meal
more ham

Reward Meal
meatloaf
scalloped potatoes
asparagus
duplex cookies
coke
milk

3 cups coffee, 2 liters water

A New Obsession

Weight: 289.1                      

Back down a pound! Yea! That was after going to the "feeding troth" also. I tried
to stay slightly moderate, by eating a salad and lots of veggies, before commencing
upon the good stuff.

I was a bit of a piggy, but stayed within my hour. I also found a new obsession, white
chocolate covered strawberries. Oh my, they are sinful! I have decided to make some
for Christmas gifts.

Today I was supposed to start training for a new job, but the lady hasn't called back for
confirmation. I am a bit concerned about that, but she seemed excited about having me
aboard.

I need this job. I need something I can sit at while going back to school. I also need to
get on top of the applications to get there by January. I ran into some friend's the other
night, he is starting his own ambulance service. He said to go for medical encoding. I am
just not sure I'd be happy with that.

Belle is already up asking about bible study. Catch it while it's hot!

Hope you have an awesome day!

HUGGZZ
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Complimentary Meal
Steak
Scrambled eggs
Green beans

Reward Meal (not exact)
Spinach and spring salad with beets, black olives, cukes, green pepper-ranch
collards
cabbage
green beans
mashed potatoes
fried chicken
3 bites steak
yeast rolls with honey butter
white chocolate covered strawberries
a bite of brownie
a bite of banana pudding
(uh looks like a ton but all the good stuff was a bite of this two bites of that. The veggies
were the majority)

Trip To The Troth

Weight: 290.1

I had a regular CAD day yesterday. The scale still registered at the same, so
nothing lost. Maybe tomorrow. I need to do better on my water, but I think
I am just tired of it.

I have an awesome brunch planned today. Steak and eggs...yum yum! I can't
wait. Then tonight we are celebrating my stepdaughter's birthday at Golden
Corral. Yes, the "feeding troth!" She wants to try the new chocolate fountains.

I am confident that I will stay in control, because they have enough good stuff
to choose from, that I can fill up on that.

I slept pretty restlessly last night, and have had a hard time just feeling alive
enough to be productive. Hopefully after this coffee kicks in??

Hope you all have an awesome day!

HUGGZZ
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Complimentary Meal
2 bowls of collards

Complimentary Meal
bowl of collards
Carolina BBQ

Reward Meal
Collards
Spinach salad with beets, cukes, tomatoes, 3 bean salad, shredded cheddar,
    black olives, onions, green pepper-ranch
Green bean casserole
Spiral sliced ham
Brown n Serve rolls
duplex cookies

3 cups coffee, 2 liters water

We All Stumble Sometimes

The damage report is in and as of this morning I am almost 4 pounds up. I
weighed 290.1, and I am not too upset, it's just time to move on.

Last night I went to the grocery store and bought me some low carb favorites
to keep me on the path. A huge pot of collards is simmering on the stove. I also
bought 3 bunches of asparagus.

I know I am going to win this battle of fat, I know it very well now. Last night I
had two dreams. In one I was running, and there wasn't anything chasing me...I
was just running! The second one later on, I was crying...because I couldn't fit
running into my schedule. Ha! Ha!

Hopefully now that I've taken a few days off, I can actually get past 286. Cross
your fingers for me!

Have an awesome day!

HUGZZ

Off The Path

Truthfully, I have been off my way of eating for 3 days now. First it was
Thanksgiving, then on Friday I tried to switch up my my reward meals to
have my reward at lunch. Eating carbs in the day time is a big no no, and
I won't be trying that again, I felt like I wanted to hibernate for the rest of
the day.

Yesterday, I did well until I decided that I was going to drink while decorating
the tree. Word to the wise decorate then drink! After not drinking for 2 years,
I have become a lightweight. I really don't drink much at all anyways, my longest
dry run was about 7 years.

I was getting a bit dizzy putting on the lights and garland, and now there is much
repair needed before dressing the tree with ornaments!

So, today there is no excuses! I am back and ready to take on this challenge. By
the way, the reason I haven't been reporting my weight is because I can not find my
scale! I have to weigh in the kitchen because the floor is  not level in the bathroom,
and someone has moved it to an unknown location! I'll post a weight tomorrow. Not
sure that I want to see the damage anyways!

Have an awesome day people!!!

HUGGZZ