Just Because It Is Hard

....don't quit. Life is hard, marriage is hard, parenting is hard. But anything worth having
is worked for.

I have my moments when I just want to give up, throw in the towel, and walk away.
I think those are the moments that you need to step away and take a few breaths, then
try to count your blessings. If you just step away and stew, it doesn't leave you with the
best prospective. Trying to remember why your doing it in the first place does.

We are all human. We fail. We all tend to lose our foresight every now and again. Every
morning I wake up with a plan of action, and by the time I've had my second cup of coffee
I can't remember what the plan was! Maybe that's because my plan was no good, and I
expect way too much out of myself.

Today since I am still on my first cup of coffee I remember most. Clean, clean, and
do two errands, then clean, clean, clean again! It is not the life I want, but it is the life
G'd has given me...and the benefits are pretty outta this world.

Truthfully, to date, I always fall short of my own expectations. Many days when I see
that I am no where near to it, I just throw my hands up. This changing roles thing has
been very hard.

I don't feel like I have the ability like I did 10 years ago. I spent most those years bringing
home the bacon, not cooking it. I look back at homeschooling my kids, and the structured
daily timeline, and it just boggles me to how we got it all done.

If you are struggling in life, all I can say is pray then do your best. You may feel like you're
about to drown at times, so remember to take a break and float for a while. Know that
you are not alone.

*P.s. If you are one of those woman that can do EVERYTHING and still keep her hair neat
buggar off! (HEE HEE)

Half The Girl

Ok I did it I took a peek at the scale. I was feeling kind of "bleh," and needed a pick me
up, so I rolled the dice and came out good. At the beginning of February I was back to
293.5 and as of yesterday I am down to 281.4 pounds.

That is a grand total of 41.6 pounds gone. YEA! I love The Carbohydrate Addicts Diet
so so much! It's nice to know that eventually I will be a size 16 or better again and never
have to be fat again.

My reward meal last night was so rewarding! I had a spinach salad with lots of toppings,
hot wings, Greek peach yogurt, cottage cheese, an apple, and a half of an apricot. Back
to the grind today though. Low carb, low carb!

Hope you all have an awesome day!!
HUGGZZ

My First Thought

The rising curiosity to step on the scale is intensifying! I would love to see the
number, but that number is so dangerous! I have so much energy right now, I
feel like I'm going to bust at the seams. I want to go for a walk, but the child I
watch in the mornings will be here any minute...

Yesterday and the day before were strictly low carb. Tonight though I plan to
have a hefty salad and something that I've been wanting. A toasted peanut butter
and honey sandwich on whole wheat. Plus, some cottage cheese and fruit.

Where I have been falling short...a few times this week I have just not wanted to
eat dinner, and just chose to go to bed and declined the food. I know I shouldn't
be skipping meals, and I notice that it is usually the 2nd day of low carb that I
feel like this. It also could be that it is the end of the month so my options are
less than normal.


His Faithfulness

I love that I have been waking up with a praise song in my head. My first thought
of the day is my creator and my savior. This morning it was a song by Plumb.
Though she wrote it about her son, it is also a great worship song.

Around The Town

I am really looking forward to my birthday this year. Which is odd, because I
have a distaste for them. I really surprise myself because I turn 40 this year,
and have been mentally dragging my feet to get to this day for years.

I had a friend give a great review for this new Mexican restaurant up the street,
so is that my pick for dinner. Then there is a Night Of Worship, at Regent University.
What better way to celebrate a dreaded year?

When I really think of it, I should be shouting from the hilltops, "I made it and I am
happy!" I can't wait to see what this year holds for us. A possible book published,
my first child turns 18, my littlest should be going to preschool, and I have found a
solution to my weight issues! If nothing else I found the way NOT to gain weight!

I haven't yet done my devotions for today, so I better scoot! Hope you have an
awesome day!


HUGGZZ

Countdown

Half The Girl

Last week I decided to go full force on this "weight" thing. No real reward meals 

with deserts or soda. Basically, I am doing completely low carb for 2 days then a

healthy CAD menu for the 3rd. The kicker...I'm not weighing in until my birthday

on March 14th.

So on my CAD meals, what do I consider healthy? Low carb for my complimentary

meals, then all my carbs at rewards are "good carbs" like sweet potatoes, fruit, cottage 

cheese, etc. I almost cheated and weighed in yesterday out of curiosity.

                                                       (18 more days til a weigh in)

I am finding that the scales that are hindering my days. If this works well then I may 

keep the pattern, only once a month weighing.  I am seeing that I am fitting in 

some size 20's, and that is so nice.

His Faithfulness

We all went to church yesterday. I am still not completely sure about joining a 

congregation again. I do enjoy this church though, and they have done so much 

for my kids, that I am compelled to look closer. 

I like the pastor, he is a very good speaker. I love that even though they are Southern

Baptist the worship is contemporary, and you're not falling asleep in the pew as the

pastor drones on in a monotone voice. Therefore, you walk away feeling like you 

got something besides a nice nap.

I was supposed to have a side job yesterday, and circumstances beyond  my knowledge

kept me from going. I asked why, seeing as I needed to pay my phone and didn't have

the money. 

My answer...stop worrying about the materialistic things and money, just worry about

what you've been appointed to do. When I got home I got a text from my service provider

saying they had received my monthly payment. My ex husband (the kids father) had paid

the bill. 

It is not his responsibility to pay my phone, he pays his fair share for child support. I

didn't ask him to do so, but I guess the L'rd had laid it on his heart to fill that need!

Have an awesome day!!

HUGGZ

Hindsight 20/20

So many times we are our own worst critics, I know I am. I beat myself up with
"why did I do that?, what was I thinking?, I should have done this or that." That
always follows with negative thoughts about myself.

What we forget is, that was yesterday, this is today. Why do we keep ourselves
down by things we can not undo? For the past 2 years I have been in this mode
mostly because of my ex, who I was blinded by, and allowed so much crap into
our lives.

For the past "forever" it has been my weight, my hot temper, and my tendency to
be impulsive, my laziness, and being held down by anxiety.

We can not change yesterday. If you have excepted J'sus into your heart as
your L'rd, savior, and brother you are not bound to those things you did. Today
you are something different. You can stop fighting the ugly parts in your life, because
He will fight it for you if you just hand it over to Him.

I know I am always fighting a fight that has already been won. This morning as
I am listening to my favorite radio station (KLOVE), I hear a song that I know
well. I even know all the lyrics, but I had never heard it, if you can understand
that.

Today forgive yourself and move on. Realize that no matter where you are reading
this your circumstances can change. If you have not accepted J'sus as your savior, I
strongly urge you to take this opportunity to do so. Accept the unconditional love and
forgiveness that He offers.

G'd will get rid of the ugly, that you don't want, and make you a new person.

Have an awesome day people!
HUGGZ

The Simple Life Of The Extraordinary

Good morning! I've been aching to write for days, but the time just hasn't been
available. From waking to sleep it's been one thing to the next. Life happens I
guess and how can you complain when life is just blessed?

This past weekend started off with Valentine's day and hubby had prepared
ahead of time, two separate deliveries to arrive on that day. Unfortunately, the
delivery system failed us and the company. The flowers could never possibly
look like the picture and they came a day late. The chocolate covered
strawberries were almost mush by the time they came, 3 days later!

In hindsight, I think my man will be shopping for my "lovelies" at Farm Fresh from
now on. We also went to a movie, which I think I mentioned in my last blog.
What was my gift to him?! A motorcycle.

I am NOT trying to get rid of him, I want him to have passion about his life. It is
dangerous toy, but I fully believe that G'd will not take us one second before or
after He plans.

When he told me that his previous wife had made him sell his last one for fear, I
was deeply effected, and resolved not to stunt him. When you marry someone it
is for all of them. Every passion, every glitch. You can not fix or restrain a man.
It will only make him bitter. It is not us that changes a man, it is the H'ly Spirit.

He doesn't need your help, he also doesn't need you to counsel. He is more than
sufficient in all His ways, to accomplish what needs to be done.

                                                     Uncle Robbie showing his true colors!

On Saturday we celebrated my Uncle Robbie's birthday. He is probably my closest
living relative. My mother and father are alive, but we are estranged because their
lives and attitudes poison my life. It is a sad thing and I often yearn for a close relation-
ship with them. Thankfully G'd daily reaches out to me and surrounds me with love,
blessings, and teaches me. Where my parents have failed, He guides. Awesomeness!

Sunday was the picture of that exactly. Two of my children were baptized. As I am
worshiping, I had this revelation that no matter life nor death...a definite 3 out of  7 will
spend eternity with me, and the possibility of spending eternity with my grandchildren
(though they are only a figment of the future) has great increased.

After church we had a quick brunch and headed out to Winter Jam 2014. Awesome
time, that could have been better had I not been vapor locked into my seat! All in all a
great weekend!

Yesterday my oldest, China, and I took a trip to the Army recruiter, to plan a career
path. She has spoken about joining the service for a few years now, and it makes me
so proud. I understand that at 17 years she is aching to get out into that world, but I'm
not sure that signing up for the Reserves right now is the best decision. I would prefer
her to be active duty next year so that she has housing as she continues her education.

The good thing is she will most likely not be called out until after she is 21 with her
Bachelors degree, and when she is she will most likely be an officer. So many choices!

Half The Girl

I still have not weighed since last week. I started to this morning, but was afraid the
number may hinder the rest of my day. The past two days I have done exceptionally
well, except for only eating once yesterday. I was so tired by the time dinner was ready
I just wanted to pass out.

I feel good though! Lots of energy and getting more accomplished.

Hope your day is awesome!!

Trust and Obey

Last night we went to see Monuments Men for Valentines day. Yes, no sappy
movie for us! I'm not totally against romantic movies, this just seemed like the
best that was out right now. Plus I am a sucker for movies based on true life.

A new study shows that romantic movies can actually improve your marriage
or possibly even SAVE it! I would think that it gave us unrealistic expectations
of what love really is, and that still may be true for those who are not married.
You can read the full story at either of these links:

MSN Living

Enterprise News

So during my little hiatus, I got a little impulsive. If you're a long time reader of my
blog, you may remember a day I devoted to Hope For Life Rescue. They are a
local "No Kill" shelter who rates over the top in my book.

Hubby and I had both talked about adopting some more furries, and had decided
that a kitten was a good choice for now. I took the girls out for lunch and a trip to
the rescue. We had a kitty on hold, but there was a mix up, and while we were
waiting for her to return I got bit by the love bug for our new puppy, Hope!

                                                     Hope (7 weeks-mixed rescue)

                                                       Faith (7 weeks- mixed rescue)

I hadn't had a puppy in over 10 years, I usually adopt the unadoptable. So, I had
forgotten the trials of potty training, puddles and piles of a younger pup. But oh
they have my heart, and it only takes a purr or a puppy kiss to melt all the memories
of work away.

If you are looking for a great pet to adopt, I can't urge you enough to visit! It's better
than getting a free pup or kitty, they come vaccinated, vetted, and fixed! Plus you know
that you saved a life and supported a rescue that saves the lives of hundreds every year.

Half The Girl
I haven't weighed in the last few days, but as of earlier this week I had gained back close
to 9 pounds (293.5). It may be a lot of water weight. I haven't been good about water or
watching my salt. Yesterday, I stayed on target and have high expectations for today.

Here's my meals for yesterday:

Complimentary Meal
Baked Chicken Breast
Cabbage
Broccoli and Cauliflower
Spinach and green salad with cukes, tomato, cheddar, pepperoni, ham, steak, black olives,
and ranch

Reward Meal
2 pieces of pizza
Nachos and salsa
Mozzarella stick
Chicken wings and tenders
Onion rings
(We got a pizza at the movie and a sampler. It appears like a lot but it was really just pickin')
Ice Cream sunday
Sweet Tea

I plan on being even better today!
  

His Faithfulness
G'd has been working on me about just simply obeying him. When I hear that voice
that says do this or that, then just doing it. We recently went through a crisis where
all of our vehicles had broke down. We had 3 means of transport, and none of them
were road worthy.

When it came to titling our new truck, I was tempted to lie and say we paid less to
avoid the higher personal tax. The verse "Give back to Caesar what is Caesar's and 
to God what is God's." And they were amazed at him. (Mark 12:17), kept going
through my brain.

I just spoke to G'd and told him I was trusting him on this, then told the truth. It was
hard to pay the city an extra $100 willingly. I also don't know what G'd's going to
do with that obedience. Maybe nothing. But even if it is just a hurdle, I did it. I think
that blind obedience brings us to a closer walk, and just because something is hard,
doesn't mean it's not worth it.

I hope that your day is awesome and finds you well!

HUGGZZ

Back In The Saddle

Good morning! I haven't written for a long while. I was trying to cut out things
and prioritize my life. After this morning's devotions I realized this needs to be
a priority.

I had lost focus. My blog had become more of Half the Girl, then anything else.
Since I had fallen off the wagon and was having a hard time getting back up on it,
I didn't want to retell my failures everyday. Mostly because I'm not a whiner, and
I don't like excuses.

I realized today, that my purpose is much greater than weight loss and and food.
It is also how I deal with struggles in life. It is a different perspective and understanding,
that might reach someone else. I am not perfect and I don't like pedestals, I've fallen
from them before and it hurts.

Please don't put me on one. People are fallible, and I am a people.

So I am back. I am still struggling daily with carb addiction. I am still trying to be the
G'dly woman he wants me to be.

Have an awesome day. I will see you tomorrow!

HUGGZZ to you all