Going Good

Half The Girl
Just wanted to throw in a quick note for those who are following me.

I am really surprised today, how much I left on my plate. In 4 days only once did I
include a real sweet, which was a little less than a cup of ice cream.

I am also really surprised by my choices thus far, one would think that I'd be running
for any kind of carbohydrate. Since I've been doing the one meal a day, my choices
have been fabulous, if I do say so myself.

Today's meal included:
*a nice spinach salad (cukes, tomatoes, pickled beets, black olives, ranch, Parmesan,
and ranch)
*3/4 of tuna salad sandwich on 12 grain bread
* 1/3 can of mixed fruit (light syrup),
*1/2 cup sweet potato mashers
*1/2 sauteed cabbage
*piece of 12 grain with real butter

The excitement of weighing on Friday is building!

HUGGZZ

Riding Along

Half The Girl
This is the third day back up on that horse! I had to do some changing around,
but so far it's working. I have gone to one meal a day for the time being. It has
worked great so far, though I haven't weighed.

I feel more clear, and the cravings are gone. My RM is around the same time
that I had been feeling those overwhelming urges, around 2 or 3 pm. I also have
some low carb snack items (such as pork rinds, celery/cream cheese, lunch meat)
for an immediate catch if I need it. I will probably continue to do just this.

The first day my meal consisted of left over spaghetti with wheat noodles, pretzel
sticks dipped in peanut butter and honey, and watermelon. I had other things to
pick from if I was still hungry, but was satisfied and it lasted me through the night.

Yesterday I had a 6oz sirloin with about 4 cups of fresh green beans (that I had left
simmering all night and seasoned with bacon), an apple, an orange, and a cup of
ice cream. Again lasted me through the night and was even able to watch the kids
eat dinner plus refuse popcorn while we watched The Walking Dead.

Plans for today. Baked chicken from last night, roasted potatoes, more green
beans, and fruit. If I feel like I need it I'll grab a snack!

There it is in a nutshell, I am NOT giving up! I am riding along happily. The
plan is to weigh again on Friday since it is that time of the month, it wouldn't
be accurate anyways.

Have an awesome day!
HUGGZZ

Hope For Today

Most of yesterday it felt as if I had a vice on my head. The only way I could
explain it to you would be, imagine a claw machine picking a stuffed animal up
by the top of the head.

I did manage to "work" with Hope, our new puppy. After seeing how she acted
this week at the veterinarian's office, I realized what a special pup she really is.
I had already been teaching her a lot of cues and tricks, because I wanted her
to be a good, obedient pet.

In just over a month she has learned how to sit, shake, lay down, go night-night
(get in her kennel), sit pretty, talk, fetch, return, drop, come and more! If I could
just get her completely potty trained we can achieve anything!

We have another older adopted furry named Hambone, which I've mentioned
before. He is a great dog, but hard headed and strong willed. Add some hound
to that with some age, it equals hard to train. (We are still working though also-
not giving up on him)

To the point... everyone else in that waiting room had ballistic animals. Very little
training, jumping, pulling, barking, and leashed. Hope on the other hand was very
calm, attentive to my voice, minding her cues, quiet, and completely unleashed. She
being only 3 months old screams to me "SPECIAL!"

Now I have been looking into training her as a therapy dog, adding quite a list to the
things we need to learn. I have high hopes for this girl we named "Hope."

Half The Girl

I, as of yet, have not been able to stay on track. I start strong in the morning,
but by about 2 or 3 pm, I am craving carbohydrates. I have been trying to keep
a mental image of what I would like to accomplish by fall, but it is hard to see
when your body and mind is saying something different.

It is taking everything I have not to picture myself as a failure, so that I can try
again the next day. I'm not on a pitty potty, I'm not looking for sympathy. I am
just putting out there what is going on with me.

For the first couple of months I had a hard time sympathizing with everyone
else in my support group, that was having issues getting up and staying up. I
couldn't understand their weakness. I was doing it, so could they, it's such an
easy plan!

Now I'm eating those thoughts and irritation, with a big naughty dose of carbs
everyday. I haven't weighed, I don't want to know.

This is what I am going to say though. Today is a new day. If I fail today,
tomorrow will be a new day. I AM going to get there. I am NOT going to
give up!

Have an awesome day!

HUGGZ

Irritated By Circumstance

I am becoming increasingly irritated by not being able to get back on my WOE.
Again, I am having to postpone. It appears I have a UTI and the need to eat
lots of yogurt and drink cranberry juice is vital.

I  woke up this morning at 2 am with indigestion. I haven't felt like this since
before I started The Carbohydrate Addict's Diet. To some it may seem trivial,
but as a carb addict, I am almost in full panic!

I need to figure out the best way of eating through this. Apparently pizza and
cupcakes, are not it! Popcorn and chocolate covered mints are not either!

My husband acts like he's all happy again. He's had a snacking movie partner
for the past week. I'm so over it though. I feel out of control. My schedule has
shifted again, and I am screaming on the inside.

I tried to quit smoking yesterday. By 5 pm I felt like my skin was crawling, I felt
weak, and disoriented. Oh, and a headache!! Almost every cigarette, I am literally
asking G'd to take the desire away. I see some differences.

I rarely can smoke a whole cigarette at one sitting. After I smoke I feel like I need
to brush my teeth to get the taste out, and am finding the smell atrocious.

Maybe, just maybe, it's on the way out the door. I  hope so. I'm tired of burning
money!

I hope your day is awesome!

HUGGZZ

The Damage

Not much to say, except I am feeling much better. I am feeling quite drained
from being sick, though it may also have something to do with not being on plan.

Half The Girl

I weighed in this morning. I have full intentions of getting back on plan. The scale
shows a 4.6 lb increase. I am okay with that and was fully prepared emotionally
and mentally.

It's really not that bad at all, but does confirm that I need to stay as closely as possible,
even when sick, to the plan. Spring it peeking it's head around the corner, I am excited
about this year's spring, summer, and fall. I have so much to do, I am only short of
getting a bike!

Stumbling Blocks And Time Suckers

Yesterday was a beautiful 70 degree day. I wanted so badly to take the
kids and dogs for a walk on the beach. Another wasted day it feels like.
I let the kids' behavior, and my addiction to Bejeweled Blitz steal it.

After that realization, I made a decision. That there would be no more FB games
except for Scrabble. Solely because though I have been a "Wordie" for most
of my life, it enriches me and doesn't consume me or a major amounts of my time
or money.

I have gotten into a habit of spending money on tokens every week to play
parties with a "Bejeweled family" I am a part of. Tsk, tsk...now not only am
I not a good steward with my time, but now I'm giving valuable money to
already billionaires!

Moderation has never been a friend to me. It's always been about all or nothing.
If I go off a little, might as well go off all the way. So look out family and world,
my time has been freed up to do some great things! I plan on consuming my time
with writing, not only stories, blogging, and an autobiography but also music.

Yesterday was the first time in years that I have written lyrics and it was the first
time ever that I wrote those lyrics to actual music. During guitar practice I was
inspired just muddle around with a melody. I didn't think it was much, but later
after dinner my daughter brought me the guitar and asked me to sing the song I
was playing earlier.

I didn't know she was even listening, and I was struck. As I played it and was talking
to her about the lyrics not being finished, my Hubby had his ear in our conversation.
After I played it through he remarks "I'm hearing a strumming pattern that goes with
that."

I have to admit my strumming is not that great. I'm probably going to be more of a
"picker." Here's the kicker though. In 10 minutes I grabbed the attention of an
audience. What could I accomplish with the loads of time NOT playing FB games?

I don't care if no one but my family hears or enjoys my writing whether it be stories,
books, or music. If I have given them something to remember me by, except for the
engraved memories of me *face glued to the computer screen*, it'll be worth it!

My interest are vast. I love upcycling, sewing, and so much more. I am merely
mediocre at any of those and have a short patience line with multiple steps to do
things the right way. Maybe I can improve in those areas also. But I love the voyage
in writing.

Today's blog was supposed to be about "marriage, divorce, and the believer." I
was going to retell a dream and the urgency I felt to "get up"  It's completely gone
into another direction. One that is probably equally important, but definitely not
planned.

I love you! Take a look at your life, if there is a stumbling block, just remove it,
life is just too short!

Half The Girl

Since today has already started on a fun sized Mounds bar with my
coffee, I doubt that I'll be getting back up on my "way of eating" today.
I'm shooting for tomorrow though, since I made it through a day without
fevers, headaches, and nausea.

HUGGZZ

The Milestone

I have to admit, I haven't been as faithful to my blog lately. The past
two weeks have been exceptionally hard. I have been sick twice in 2
weeks.

First with a stomach flu that had me down for 3 days. I had only a
short relief before I got hit again. This time it's some kind of viral
infection or flu. For the most part I've been feeling mildly crappy most
of the day, then super crap for the rest!

Low fevers at night, nausea, headaches...blah blah blah! I think Hubby
was getting a tad perturbed, until he realized "Hey...she really is sick!"

So, my birthday was kind of stinky, but it was the best birthday I have
had in a long time. Probably sounds silly. I HATE BIRTHDAYS! I
enjoy the cake, cards, and gifts (which didn't really happen this year);
but would gladly give that all away for my life not to be passing by so
quickly.

A week, or so, ago I decided that I would revel in this one. A
milestone birthday, I am 40. There will be no break downs like
when I turned 30, I will not hide in bed trying to keep away from
birthday wishes, and I was determined not to let my skin crawl
every time I heard someone say the number.

This year will be the year for reflection and thankfulness, because if
you had seen me twenty years ago, you would never had thought I'd
make it. Strung out on drugs, a liar, cheater, thief, hater, immoral,
conniving, the list goes on.

Several times my life was almost snuffed out, by different people at
different times. I woke up to my "runnin' partner" choking the life out
of me, then blacked out. When I woke up I asked him why, he said he
didn't know. When I asked him why he stopped, he said the same thing.

Once there were bullets flying right by my head, because the guy in the
car with me had done someone dirty. Another tried to rape me. When
I out smarted him he lifted me up by my neck. I came to when my feet
hit the ground, he stood there with his eyes as big as saucers (his hands
were in midair, and it appeared that they were being held by something
not seen).

I've had a mild stroke from drugs. I was attacked by a serial rapist (possible
killer), and got away.  This is just what I know of. Who knows what
happened during the times I can't remember?!

It'll be 20 years ago next year, that G'd himself reached down to me, poured
the healing blood of His son over my life, and let me start anew. He took the
desires away, and with his word mentored me to be all that I am today. Which
may not seem much, but it is so much more than what was previously destined!

So for my 40th birthday, I will rejoice in:

I am not only saved, redeemed, and forgiven. But I am also healed.

My kids are healthy and academically awesome. 3 out of 5 are saved,
baptized, and forming a personal relationship with G'd.

I have an great husband and happy marriage.

I live in a house that will one day be ours. Not a trailer, apartment,
    or hotel room.

I have found a way to get my weight down and keep it off.

I have 4 furry babies that fill my heart (and empty my wallet)!

I may not have everything I want, but I have more than I need.

Half the Girl

I haven't weighed lately. I'm really not stressing about it too much.
Being sick and sticking to a WOE sometimes doesn't go hand in
hand especially if your low carb'ing.

Last night I was so nauseated I could only handle sucking on some
gummy worms, that kind of coated my itchy throat. So after not eating
hardly at all last week, I'm basically just eating what I think I can handle.

Spring is here though! The birds are singing, and I am ready and raring to
get this show back on the road! I have a tentative goal of being in a size
18 by fall, or better.

Hope you have an awesome day! Find something to be thankful for, it'll
change your whole prospective!

HUGGZZ