I Can Almost Taste It

Half The Girl

Weight 280.5                    Total: -42.5

I guess your will has to be stronger than your body's. My first thirty pounds seemed
to melt off, but I've been bouncing in the 280's since November. Granted there were
a lot of off time with the Holidays, but it's time to move on.

Now I am so close to the 270's, I can almost taste it. Hopefully, my body will start
to comply and realize that we are trying to LOSE! At least I know once I get where
I want to be, maintenance should be a breeze!

I can only think of 2 things I did differently yesterday. I drank a couple cups of green
tea, because with being sick I wanted warm fluids and I didn't want more coffee. I also
had 3 hard boiled eggs for a late breakfast (or CM snack).

My reward meal consisted of a spinach salad, left over spaghetti, and 2 pieces of vanilla
chocolate. I did exercise a bit also with the XBOX Your Body game, but not for long.

I'm not sure how much that would've made a difference. I did have some overwhelming
cravings last night, but I account that to being sick and wanting comfort foods. The only
thing that saved me, was having to go out in the chilly rain, to forage for it.

I'm really glad that I didn't have pizza and ice cream on hand! It was so nice to see a
drop in the numbers, and hitting a new low.

I've been carousing the success stories on MyFitnesspal.com again. I need to stay
focused on other people's achievements, it inspires me to keep chugging along.

So cheers for me, and cheers for The Carbohydrate Addict's Diet!

Have an awesome day!

HUGGZZ

Officially Sick

For the third time in a month, I am yet sick AGAIN! Throw in a week for my
cycle, and the whole past month has been quite crappy! It is draining me, when
I sleep I feel like I'm drowning, when I sit up my head bangs and nose runs. UGH!

The living room is still not painted, maybe today after the kids get back from church.
This will be the second week in a row I missed, last week Jude was too sick (and he
still is) to go to nursery.

Tonight is the season finale for the walking dead...ahh bittersweet! I can't believe we
have to wait until October for the next season! That is just too too long! Oh and by the
way:

Ha ha! Had to do it!

Half The Girl

Last night I took a walk with Hope. It was probably close to a mile. It was so
nice outside, wet, but nice.

The scale has pretty much stayed the same, with a .2 increase. I'm totally at a loss.
No matter how I go at it, it stays the same. A decrease in pant size, but a halt on the
scale.

For my meal yesterday I had:
Spinach salad (cukes, tomato, raisins, almonds, fried onions, ranch)
2 baked leg quarters with BBQ to dip
garlic bread
roasted redskin potatoes
lima beans
apple sauce
piece of vanilla chocolate

So today, I'm going back to the 3 meal plan, but staying with the RM at lunch.
Maybe an RM and two snacks. Lots of water and some cucumber water, that
I have had in the fridge chilling. Hopefully I can "confuse it to lose it." Also, no
bad carbohydrates for me.

If it's not complex, it's not going to be eaten...at least for a while.

Hope you all have an awesome day!
HUGGZ

Spring Cleaning

I am motivated this morning to get this house clean and together. The kids have
school today, as a make up day for all the snow we've had this year. So, I'm going
to have to do it alone while trying to keep a 3 year old in check.

I need to do it though. I want to get a few more kids to watch. After all I'm going
to be need some newer clothes!

To get this house ready, we need to finish painting and put the new carpet in.
Hopefully I can have everything done by the time the kids get home so that I can
finish painting the living room and have that knocked off the list. Hope springs
eternal...right?!

We've decided to continue living in this house, and the Landlord is helping us
repair our credit so that we can buy it (fingers crossed) this next coming year.
We had been up in the air about it, but decided that it was the right choice.

Now that the decision has been finally made, I'm ready to start making it mine.

We made pine cone bird feeders yesterday, the girls enjoyed being able to make
a mess. I still want to make the 2 liter birdhouses, but I'm thinking it might be too
late in the season for them to be inhabited.

Half The Girl
Weight: 282  lbs                    Total Loss: -41 lbs
I weighed myself again this morning and again I am at the exact same. I promptly
went back to the bedroom and put on the size 18's that have been sitting in my
closet for years. I feel a little better.

I noticed this morning that my saddle bags are not as pronounced as they once were.
There's another change that is noticeable. It would still be nice to see that number go
down more.

I even gave in to some exercise yesterday. I got out the Your Body and XBOX Sports
and played for about 30 minutes.

My meal was not as satisfying though. I had planned to have some ribs, but they
just didn't taste right, so I tried a can of soup. That also didn't taste right.

2 grilled cheese on wheat
bowl of Golden grams
pork rinds
cheddar popcorn
1/2 Butterfinger

Not the meal of champions, but it sustained me. I did snack on some baked chicken
and pork rinds later in the evening. I didn't feel like I had to, but the chicken Hubby
made last night smelled so so good!

I don't really have a plan for today, and that is not good. I will have a salad, but
beyond that I am not sure.

Have an awesome day everyone, and see you tomorrow!

HUGGZZ

Baffled

I am really confused this morning. It was weigh in day and I am still at 282 pounds, 

but last night I was able to fit a pair of size 18's. This is the first time in over fifteen

years I have been able to fit in anything that size.

If I had been exercising, I could understand that building muscle weighs more than

fat. Therefore thinning out but staying the same weight. Other than cleaning though,

I haven't been exercising at all.

I guess I just keep trucking on, what else is there to do.

Hope you have an awesome day. I'll be back tomorrow, hopefully with something to 

say!

HUGGZZ

Time Lost

I really don't like sleeping in. I feel like I don't get those moments to wake
up and get the right perspective for the day. I started my day just this way.

I usually wake up around 4 or 4:30 am, which gives me a few hours to
come alive. Get inspired, do devotions, pray, play guitar...just "me time."
All the things that there is never time or enough quiet to just enjoy with
seven awesome kids to do for.

I got up around 6:30, and before I could get my coffee and sit down, Bella
was up then Jude came running out of "shoot number four," chattering. I think
he was trying to make up for yesterday when he moped around sickly all day.

Have you ever heard a really loud bass and it makes your ears feel funny?
That's what all the noise feels like when I have just woken up. It's an irritating
feeling, and I tend to be more grumpy when I feel it. I don't mean to be, and I
tend to be silent and grit my teeth, because even the sound of my voice does it.

Half The Girl
Tomorrow is weighing day! Whoot whoot!! Hopefully, it will be a great report.
This is day five, completely on the plan. I did however eat whatever I wanted
yesterday during my RM, it wasn't as balanced as usual. It's the end of the month,
so my choices are limited.

Here it is:
1/4 link of kielbasa
tater tots
2 egg rolls
spinach salad (cukes, tomatoes, black olives, beets, bacon pieces, ranch, fried onions)
cookies and milk

I think the sodium count was too high, because I felt fat after I ate it, even into this
morning. I'm sure the Pork Cracklins I nibbled on during 47 Ronin didn't help. But
at least it was a better choice than the popcorn Hubby was snacking on!

Today's plan is a spinach salad (same as yesterday), steak, sauteed cabbage, and fruit.
I just happened to find a steak I bought a few weeks ago in the freezer last night. YEA!

Have an awesome day! Thanks for checking in, I'll be back tomorrow!
HUGGZZ

Going Good

Half The Girl
Just wanted to throw in a quick note for those who are following me.

I am really surprised today, how much I left on my plate. In 4 days only once did I
include a real sweet, which was a little less than a cup of ice cream.

I am also really surprised by my choices thus far, one would think that I'd be running
for any kind of carbohydrate. Since I've been doing the one meal a day, my choices
have been fabulous, if I do say so myself.

Today's meal included:
*a nice spinach salad (cukes, tomatoes, pickled beets, black olives, ranch, Parmesan,
and ranch)
*3/4 of tuna salad sandwich on 12 grain bread
* 1/3 can of mixed fruit (light syrup),
*1/2 cup sweet potato mashers
*1/2 sauteed cabbage
*piece of 12 grain with real butter

The excitement of weighing on Friday is building!

HUGGZZ

Riding Along

Half The Girl
This is the third day back up on that horse! I had to do some changing around,
but so far it's working. I have gone to one meal a day for the time being. It has
worked great so far, though I haven't weighed.

I feel more clear, and the cravings are gone. My RM is around the same time
that I had been feeling those overwhelming urges, around 2 or 3 pm. I also have
some low carb snack items (such as pork rinds, celery/cream cheese, lunch meat)
for an immediate catch if I need it. I will probably continue to do just this.

The first day my meal consisted of left over spaghetti with wheat noodles, pretzel
sticks dipped in peanut butter and honey, and watermelon. I had other things to
pick from if I was still hungry, but was satisfied and it lasted me through the night.

Yesterday I had a 6oz sirloin with about 4 cups of fresh green beans (that I had left
simmering all night and seasoned with bacon), an apple, an orange, and a cup of
ice cream. Again lasted me through the night and was even able to watch the kids
eat dinner plus refuse popcorn while we watched The Walking Dead.

Plans for today. Baked chicken from last night, roasted potatoes, more green
beans, and fruit. If I feel like I need it I'll grab a snack!

There it is in a nutshell, I am NOT giving up! I am riding along happily. The
plan is to weigh again on Friday since it is that time of the month, it wouldn't
be accurate anyways.

Have an awesome day!
HUGGZZ

Hope For Today

Most of yesterday it felt as if I had a vice on my head. The only way I could
explain it to you would be, imagine a claw machine picking a stuffed animal up
by the top of the head.

I did manage to "work" with Hope, our new puppy. After seeing how she acted
this week at the veterinarian's office, I realized what a special pup she really is.
I had already been teaching her a lot of cues and tricks, because I wanted her
to be a good, obedient pet.

In just over a month she has learned how to sit, shake, lay down, go night-night
(get in her kennel), sit pretty, talk, fetch, return, drop, come and more! If I could
just get her completely potty trained we can achieve anything!

We have another older adopted furry named Hambone, which I've mentioned
before. He is a great dog, but hard headed and strong willed. Add some hound
to that with some age, it equals hard to train. (We are still working though also-
not giving up on him)

To the point... everyone else in that waiting room had ballistic animals. Very little
training, jumping, pulling, barking, and leashed. Hope on the other hand was very
calm, attentive to my voice, minding her cues, quiet, and completely unleashed. She
being only 3 months old screams to me "SPECIAL!"

Now I have been looking into training her as a therapy dog, adding quite a list to the
things we need to learn. I have high hopes for this girl we named "Hope."

Half The Girl

I, as of yet, have not been able to stay on track. I start strong in the morning,
but by about 2 or 3 pm, I am craving carbohydrates. I have been trying to keep
a mental image of what I would like to accomplish by fall, but it is hard to see
when your body and mind is saying something different.

It is taking everything I have not to picture myself as a failure, so that I can try
again the next day. I'm not on a pitty potty, I'm not looking for sympathy. I am
just putting out there what is going on with me.

For the first couple of months I had a hard time sympathizing with everyone
else in my support group, that was having issues getting up and staying up. I
couldn't understand their weakness. I was doing it, so could they, it's such an
easy plan!

Now I'm eating those thoughts and irritation, with a big naughty dose of carbs
everyday. I haven't weighed, I don't want to know.

This is what I am going to say though. Today is a new day. If I fail today,
tomorrow will be a new day. I AM going to get there. I am NOT going to
give up!

Have an awesome day!

HUGGZ

Irritated By Circumstance

I am becoming increasingly irritated by not being able to get back on my WOE.
Again, I am having to postpone. It appears I have a UTI and the need to eat
lots of yogurt and drink cranberry juice is vital.

I  woke up this morning at 2 am with indigestion. I haven't felt like this since
before I started The Carbohydrate Addict's Diet. To some it may seem trivial,
but as a carb addict, I am almost in full panic!

I need to figure out the best way of eating through this. Apparently pizza and
cupcakes, are not it! Popcorn and chocolate covered mints are not either!

My husband acts like he's all happy again. He's had a snacking movie partner
for the past week. I'm so over it though. I feel out of control. My schedule has
shifted again, and I am screaming on the inside.

I tried to quit smoking yesterday. By 5 pm I felt like my skin was crawling, I felt
weak, and disoriented. Oh, and a headache!! Almost every cigarette, I am literally
asking G'd to take the desire away. I see some differences.

I rarely can smoke a whole cigarette at one sitting. After I smoke I feel like I need
to brush my teeth to get the taste out, and am finding the smell atrocious.

Maybe, just maybe, it's on the way out the door. I  hope so. I'm tired of burning
money!

I hope your day is awesome!

HUGGZZ

The Damage

Not much to say, except I am feeling much better. I am feeling quite drained
from being sick, though it may also have something to do with not being on plan.

Half The Girl

I weighed in this morning. I have full intentions of getting back on plan. The scale
shows a 4.6 lb increase. I am okay with that and was fully prepared emotionally
and mentally.

It's really not that bad at all, but does confirm that I need to stay as closely as possible,
even when sick, to the plan. Spring it peeking it's head around the corner, I am excited
about this year's spring, summer, and fall. I have so much to do, I am only short of
getting a bike!

Stumbling Blocks And Time Suckers

Yesterday was a beautiful 70 degree day. I wanted so badly to take the
kids and dogs for a walk on the beach. Another wasted day it feels like.
I let the kids' behavior, and my addiction to Bejeweled Blitz steal it.

After that realization, I made a decision. That there would be no more FB games
except for Scrabble. Solely because though I have been a "Wordie" for most
of my life, it enriches me and doesn't consume me or a major amounts of my time
or money.

I have gotten into a habit of spending money on tokens every week to play
parties with a "Bejeweled family" I am a part of. Tsk, tsk...now not only am
I not a good steward with my time, but now I'm giving valuable money to
already billionaires!

Moderation has never been a friend to me. It's always been about all or nothing.
If I go off a little, might as well go off all the way. So look out family and world,
my time has been freed up to do some great things! I plan on consuming my time
with writing, not only stories, blogging, and an autobiography but also music.

Yesterday was the first time in years that I have written lyrics and it was the first
time ever that I wrote those lyrics to actual music. During guitar practice I was
inspired just muddle around with a melody. I didn't think it was much, but later
after dinner my daughter brought me the guitar and asked me to sing the song I
was playing earlier.

I didn't know she was even listening, and I was struck. As I played it and was talking
to her about the lyrics not being finished, my Hubby had his ear in our conversation.
After I played it through he remarks "I'm hearing a strumming pattern that goes with
that."

I have to admit my strumming is not that great. I'm probably going to be more of a
"picker." Here's the kicker though. In 10 minutes I grabbed the attention of an
audience. What could I accomplish with the loads of time NOT playing FB games?

I don't care if no one but my family hears or enjoys my writing whether it be stories,
books, or music. If I have given them something to remember me by, except for the
engraved memories of me *face glued to the computer screen*, it'll be worth it!

My interest are vast. I love upcycling, sewing, and so much more. I am merely
mediocre at any of those and have a short patience line with multiple steps to do
things the right way. Maybe I can improve in those areas also. But I love the voyage
in writing.

Today's blog was supposed to be about "marriage, divorce, and the believer." I
was going to retell a dream and the urgency I felt to "get up"  It's completely gone
into another direction. One that is probably equally important, but definitely not
planned.

I love you! Take a look at your life, if there is a stumbling block, just remove it,
life is just too short!

Half The Girl

Since today has already started on a fun sized Mounds bar with my
coffee, I doubt that I'll be getting back up on my "way of eating" today.
I'm shooting for tomorrow though, since I made it through a day without
fevers, headaches, and nausea.

HUGGZZ

The Milestone

I have to admit, I haven't been as faithful to my blog lately. The past
two weeks have been exceptionally hard. I have been sick twice in 2
weeks.

First with a stomach flu that had me down for 3 days. I had only a
short relief before I got hit again. This time it's some kind of viral
infection or flu. For the most part I've been feeling mildly crappy most
of the day, then super crap for the rest!

Low fevers at night, nausea, headaches...blah blah blah! I think Hubby
was getting a tad perturbed, until he realized "Hey...she really is sick!"

So, my birthday was kind of stinky, but it was the best birthday I have
had in a long time. Probably sounds silly. I HATE BIRTHDAYS! I
enjoy the cake, cards, and gifts (which didn't really happen this year);
but would gladly give that all away for my life not to be passing by so
quickly.

A week, or so, ago I decided that I would revel in this one. A
milestone birthday, I am 40. There will be no break downs like
when I turned 30, I will not hide in bed trying to keep away from
birthday wishes, and I was determined not to let my skin crawl
every time I heard someone say the number.

This year will be the year for reflection and thankfulness, because if
you had seen me twenty years ago, you would never had thought I'd
make it. Strung out on drugs, a liar, cheater, thief, hater, immoral,
conniving, the list goes on.

Several times my life was almost snuffed out, by different people at
different times. I woke up to my "runnin' partner" choking the life out
of me, then blacked out. When I woke up I asked him why, he said he
didn't know. When I asked him why he stopped, he said the same thing.

Once there were bullets flying right by my head, because the guy in the
car with me had done someone dirty. Another tried to rape me. When
I out smarted him he lifted me up by my neck. I came to when my feet
hit the ground, he stood there with his eyes as big as saucers (his hands
were in midair, and it appeared that they were being held by something
not seen).

I've had a mild stroke from drugs. I was attacked by a serial rapist (possible
killer), and got away.  This is just what I know of. Who knows what
happened during the times I can't remember?!

It'll be 20 years ago next year, that G'd himself reached down to me, poured
the healing blood of His son over my life, and let me start anew. He took the
desires away, and with his word mentored me to be all that I am today. Which
may not seem much, but it is so much more than what was previously destined!

So for my 40th birthday, I will rejoice in:

I am not only saved, redeemed, and forgiven. But I am also healed.

My kids are healthy and academically awesome. 3 out of 5 are saved,
baptized, and forming a personal relationship with G'd.

I have an great husband and happy marriage.

I live in a house that will one day be ours. Not a trailer, apartment,
    or hotel room.

I have found a way to get my weight down and keep it off.

I have 4 furry babies that fill my heart (and empty my wallet)!

I may not have everything I want, but I have more than I need.

Half the Girl

I haven't weighed lately. I'm really not stressing about it too much.
Being sick and sticking to a WOE sometimes doesn't go hand in
hand especially if your low carb'ing.

Last night I was so nauseated I could only handle sucking on some
gummy worms, that kind of coated my itchy throat. So after not eating
hardly at all last week, I'm basically just eating what I think I can handle.

Spring is here though! The birds are singing, and I am ready and raring to
get this show back on the road! I have a tentative goal of being in a size
18 by fall, or better.

Hope you have an awesome day! Find something to be thankful for, it'll
change your whole prospective!

HUGGZZ